chris/CO149 (co149) wrote,

What I Saw at the Roller Derby Last Night

Dirty Little Secret's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner was excellent. Everyone stood up and many sang along. This is the way our national anthem should be performed before a sporting event. No hamming. No kitsch. No jazz. No improvisation. Do it straight up so we can all sing along. Thank you, Ms. Secret!

Grave Danger kicked major hiney! w00t!! Their new jammer, Femme Fatale, is nearly unstoppable and very, very dangerous. Thankfully, even more dangerous than Socket Wenches' new jammer. The jams were fast-fast-fast and the crowd was really into it. The packs got a little spread out. Looked like the pivots were trying to keep up with the opposing jammers to get extra blocks in. I don't know enough to say whether that's a good thing or not.

There was this Penalty Wheel thing introduced this bout. It needs to be lost, buried in soft mud, burned and shredded. The only thing it succeeded at was breaking up the action in a purely intolerable manner. Really, the "bad girl" sign is enough to get an errant skater into the reflective and focused mood that bad girls should be in after a bad block. I could see the officials get a clue after a prolonged chant from the crowd, "SKATE! SKATE! SKATE!"

There are a number of non-skating participants that need to be reminded that we're all there to SEE SKATING. You don't have to keep us "entertained" between jams, you don't have to come up with clever bits like the Penalty Wheel to keep our interest up. Let the ladies skate and give us a good play-by-play announcer so we can keep up with action at the far end of the rink. If you need color commentary, how about inviting an injured skater to help out?

Burnett Down is still the most dangerous jammer in the field. I don't know whether to have a contract taken out on her, or to ask her to bear my children.

Had a great time.

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