chris/CO149 (co149) wrote,
chris/CO149
co149

The Shakespeare Virus

It's an honor-system virus. When you read it, post some of your favorite Shakespeare in your own journal.

I don't really have any favorite Shakespeare, alas, aside from the bit where the witches are making soup for the potluck. So, instead, I'll post the perl script that let's me insert Shakespearean-style insults into IRC.


#!/usr/local/bin/perl

@ADJ_1 = ("artless",
          "bawdy",
          "beslubbering",
          "bootless",
          "churlish",
          "cockered",
          "clouted",
          "craven",
          "currish",
          "dankish",
          "dissembling",
          "droning",
          "errant",
          "fawning",
          "fobbing",
          "froward",
          "frothy",
          "gleeking",
          "goatish",
          "gorbellied",
          "impertinent",
          "jarring",
          "loggerheaded",
          "mangled",
          "mewling",
          "paunchy",
          "pribbling",
          "puking",
          "qualling",
          "reeky",
          "roguish",
          "ruttish",
          "saucy",
          "spleeny",
          "spongy",
          "surly",
          "tottering",
          "unmuzzled",
          "vain",
          "venomed",
          "villainous",
          "warped",
          "wayward",
          "weedy",
          "yeasty");

@ADJ_2 = ("base-court",
          "bat-fowling",
          "beef-witted",
          "beetle-headed",
          "boil-brained",
          "clapper-clawed",
          "clay-brained",
          "common-kissing",
          "crook-pated",
          "dismal-dreaming",
          "dizzy-eyed",
          "doghearted",
          "dread-bolted",
          "earth-vexing",
          "elf-skinned",
          "fat-kidneyed",
          "fen-sucked",
          "flap-mouthed",
          "fly-bitten",
	  "folly-fallen",
          "fool-born",
          "guts-griping",
          "half-faced",
          "hell-hated",
          "idle-headed",
          "ill-breeding",
          "ill-nurtured",
          "knotty-pated",
          "motley-minded",
          "plume-plucked",
          "pottle-deep",
          "pox-marked",
          "reeling-ripe",
          "rough-hewn",
          "rude-growing",
          "rump-fed",
          "shard-borne",
          "sheep-biting",
          "spur-galled",
          "swag-bellied",
          "tardy-gaited",
          "tickle-brained",
          "toad-spotted",
          "unchin-snouted",
          "weather-bitten");

@NOUN =  ("apple-john",
          "baggage",
          "barnacle",
          "bladder",
          "boar-pig",
          "bugbear",
          "bum-bailey",
          "canker-blossom",
          "clack-dish",
          "clotpole",
          "coxcomb",
          "codpiece",
          "death-token",
          "dewberry",
          "flap-dragon",
          "flax-wench",
          "flirt-gill",
          "foot-licker",
          "fustilarian",
          "giglet",
          "gudgeon",
          "harpy",
          "hedge-pig",
          "joithead",
          "lewdster",
          "lout",
          "maggot-pie",
          "malt-worm",
          "measle",
          "miscreant",
          "moldwarp",
          "mumble-news",
          "nuthook",
          "pigeon-egg",
          "pignut",
          "puttock",
          "pumpion",
          "ratsbane",
          "scut",
          "skainsmate",
          "strumpet",
          "varlet",
          "vassal",
          "whey-face",
          "wagtail");


$x = int rand $#ADJ_1 + 1;
$y = int rand $#ADJ_2 + 1;
$z = int rand $#NOUN + 1;
print "Thou $ADJ_1[$x], $ADJ_2[$y] $NOUN[$z]!\n";

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