You have been infected with a virus. It's a nasty one. It comes in through your email. It ransacks your address book and sends the contents back to the mother ship. Then attaches itself to your outgoing mail messages.
My email address was in that address book. Worse, the email address of my cell phone was in that address book. Suddenly today, I received spam where I've never received any before.
I know you're out there. You irresponsible jerk. Get a Mac.
While I was typing this, a fifth spam came through.
HENCEFORTH, NO ONE IS AUTHORIZED TO KEEP MY EMAIL ADDRESS STORED WITHIN ANY MICROSOFT PRODUCT OR ANY OTHER PRODUCT RUNNING UNDER A MICROSOFT OPERATING SYSTEM.
Remove me from your address book. Do it now. Shit, remove everyone from your address book.
I know you're out there.